SPORTS

Troutman: Giving the fall college football season a eulogy

Beau Troutman
btroutman@hollandsentinel.com
FILE - Fans cheer as the Michigan team takes the field at Michigan Stadium for an NCAA college football game against Wisconsin in Ann Arbor, Mich., Oct. 13, 2018. Michigan's Big House will be sitting empty when the leaves start to change this fall. From Ann Arbor to Los Angeles to Oxford, that most American of pursuits, college football, has either given up hope of getting in a traditional season or is flinging what amounts to a Hail Mary pass in a desperate attempt to hang on in the age of COVID-19.

At the beginning of August, a friend of mine gifted me Phil Steele’s College Football 2020 Preview magazine.

“The book the experts cannot do without,” the magazine’s cover says.

Every year, it’s my tradition to get this preview magazine and prepare for whatever football pool I happen to be in, as well as know the most about my favorite team — the Ohio State Buckeyes — and of course all of my team’s rivals. That means you, Michigan.

In addition, online dynasties in the NCAA Football 14 video game, complete with up-to-date rosters, only add to the anticipation of college football.

The feeling of 10 p.m. on an August summer night, online with my fellow football fans waiting for the week to advance in the dynasty while paging through the Phil Steele magazine and eating junk food is a euphoria I can’t begin to put into words.

It’s a feeling that is sorely, sorely missed right now.

Tailgate parties, Week 1 kickoff classics, late-night Pac-12 matchups to fall asleep to ...

And don’t ever forget watching “College Football Live,” having just come inside after a hot cup of coffee enjoyed out in the brisk autumn morning.

As cheesy as that theme song is, it’s the only song I’ll want to hear on repeat once football returns.

“Once football returns” is a phrase I never thought I’d have to type in this lifetime, but here we are. The Power Five conferences are all announcing plans to postpone the football season until the spring, but no matter when the sport is played again, it just won’t be the same.

Fall is by far my favorite season — Christmas and Fourth of July have nothing on Halloween and Thanksgiving — and there’s just something so fitting about fall and football. Fall is a time of transition into the worst season ever, winter, and football is ol’ reliable, helping the Midwest endure through the horrors of snow and scraping off icy windshields at 7 a.m.

One of my favorite college football memories, aside from attending two OSU-Michigan games, was Week 3 of the 2008 season.

The Jimmy-Clausen led Notre Dame Fighting Irish defeated the Steven Threet and Sam McGuffie-led Michigan Wolverines 35-17 on a classic Michigan fall day, which featured severe rain and weather throughout the Midwest. It was also the game where former Irish coach Charlie Weis was hit by players falling out of bounds on the sideline, requiring him to use crutches for the rest of the game.

I remember my dad making his classic, “Billy’s Chili,” and I remember it raining extremely hard here, giving everyone an excuse to stay inside and watch college football all day.

Actually, any reason is a good excuse to stay inside and watch football all day.

Later that night, Ohio State got gobsmacked by a Mark Sanchez-led USC Trojans team, 35-3, but I’d give anything to watch my team get owned by a bunch of cheaters, as long as it meant I got to watch live football.

In remembering something from so long ago, it brings back memories of a carefree youth and simpler times. As we look forward to a fall without football, it put into perspective just how important those kinds of memories are.

It’s going to be tough finding things to do on a random September, October or November Saturday, and even tougher trying to get past coronavirus and the upcoming election.

I could use this opportunity to deliver some campy message about how all we need is each other, or love, or some other overwrought Beatles-esque phrase, but that would be dishonest.

This fall is going to be weird and all we can do is make the best of it.

“Pouring one out for the homies,” or, the practice of pouring out libations in honor of someone who has passed, is a tradition that dates back in human history to as early as ancient Egypt. There’s even a reference to it in the Bible (Genesis 35:14).

I’d like to take this time and invite everyone to pour one out for the 2020 fall college football season. We never met you, we never will, but we will always hold you dear to our collective heart.

Cheers, everyone.

— Contact Assistant Sports Editor Beau Troutman at btroutman@hollandsentinel.com. Follow him on Twitter @BVTroutman.

Beau Troutman