BRAVE RETURN
Top Gear crash left me with crippling anxiety unable to leave room – I didn’t go out for 8 months, says Freddie Flintoff
Flintoff has revealed how he fell back in love with life and cricket
BATTLING Freddie Flintoff has revealed the trauma of his Top Gear crash made him a hermit — rarely leaving home and struggling to even step out of a room.
The cricketer-turned-TV host spent eight months recovering from the 2022 smash before being brought out of his downward spiral by a bit of banter with a pal.
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England Ashes hero Freddie, who suffered severe facial injuries, said: “The only times I was leaving the house was for medical appointments and surgeries.
“I was struggling with crippling anxiety. I had to have about five or six goes at leaving the room — had to have a chat with myself in the mirror.
“I’d not shown myself without a face mask to anyone. It was like starting again.”
Dad-of-four Freddie finally made it to his London office and recalled: “One of my mates was there. I had a bucket hat, glasses and a mask and he said, ‘F*** me — it’s the invisible man’.
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“It’s always better when that starts happening. Back to normal. I’m more accepting of it now, it is what it is and move on.”
Freddie, speaking on The Jonathan Ross Show to be screened tomorrow night, went into great depth about his fight to get back to his careers in TV and cricket.
He said: “Afterwards, obviously there’s the physical scars that I’ve got. But then the mental side . . . ”
His chat show appearance comes ahead of the release of his bombshell Disney+ documentary which airs next Thursday.
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It includes never-before-seen images of the aftermath of his three-wheel roadster flipping and nearly killing him.
In a trailer for that show, Freddie, 47, promises to tell all about the horror that saw him airlifted to hospital with deep cuts, broken bones and damage to his teeth.
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He says: “I remember everything about it. It’s so vivid . . . this is what I’m left with. I wouldn’t say I’m embracing them, but I’m not trying to hide my scars.
“It’s almost like I’ve hit the reset and I’m trying to find out what I am now. I always seem to be able to flick a switch. I just have to find that switch again.”
He goes on: “One of the real frustrations was the speculation, which is why I’m doing this now — to say what actually happened.”
The trailer sees Freddie talk candidly under studio spotlights, which show the full extent of his scars.
It includes clips of his showbiz pals James Corden and Jack Whitehall, plus a snippet of an interview with his wife of 20 years, Rachel.
Talking of why she was first attracted to him, she says: “There was just something about him that was different — as soon as someone says, ‘That’s impossible’ then that’s what makes him fly.”
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Indeed, the challenges involved in making BBC car show Top Gear were partly responsible for him joining hosts Paddy McGuinness and Chris Harris in 2019.
Discussing how in-depth the documentary is, he says: “At first it was quite strange. It’s something you live with. Since the accident, had the flashbacks, the nightmares and things — you’re talking about it, you’re talking about it quite a lot.
“The hardest part is seeing people talk about you.”
In the fall-out from the crash, Top Gear was cancelled and he received £9million in compensation from show makers BBC Studios.
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Freddie tells in the documentary how his beloved sport of cricket has helped him bounce back.
He said: “I finished playing at 31, started doing TV stuff, past two or three years had an accident, found myself back around cricket, which I’m loving. So I’m coaching the England Lions, which is the team underneath the England side.
“I think, with everything that’s happened over the past few years, that’s the one place I feel most comfortable.
“Cricket is embracing me again and my mates and everything.
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“The TV was good. But I feel like I’m back home being involved in cricket.
“A mate of mine, Rob Key — who is actually my boss, known him for 30 years — he started inviting me to come and watch the cricket, Test matches, but sit in a back room, not in the crowd.
“I was wearing a full face mask for months. I started getting back into it and started to find my feet a little bit. Ever since I can remember, from being a kid, cricket was a massive part of my life.
“That time when I probably needed it most, cricket embraced me again. I found myself back in it.
“The TV stuff, I still do the odd job, I’ve got bills to pay. But cricket now, back in coaching is my definite future, I’m loving it.
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“It’s what I’ve always known. I always wanted to play for Lancashire. I always wanted to play for England. It stopped pretty early when I retired at 31 through injury. I stumbled into TV. It was great, don’t get me wrong.
“Cricket is the one place, I’m there in the dressing room, I’m coaching these lads, forget everything that’s going on and be present.”
Since the December 2022 accident at Dunsfold Aerodrome, Surrey, he has filmed a Bullseye Christmas special for ITV plus a second series of Field of Dreams, in which he coaches working class lads from his home town of Preston.
He admitted on the BBC show the scale of the emotional impact.
He said: “There’ll be times when I take myself off and you won’t see me for half an hour. I’ll go cry in my room and come back.”
Referring to the seriousness of the crash, he added: “I genuinely should not be here after what happened. It’s going to be a long road back and I’ve only just started.
“I’ve got to look at the positives, I’ve got another chance, and I’m going to go at it. I’m seeing that as how it is — a second go.”
At that time, Freddie’s injuries were just weeks old. His stitches were on show and his voice was distorted by his swollen lips and broken nose.
Trying to remain in control, he said: “I am struggling already and I need help. I really am. I’m not the best at asking for it. I need to stop crying every two minutes.”
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Later, he went on: “I am what I am now. I’m different to what I was. It’s something I’ll have to deal with for the rest of my life. Better? No. Different.
“Something happened which changed my life forever.”
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