Team Trump vs Team Putin in NFL-style draft as Musk's Grok weighs in on who wins

EXCLUSIVE: If you could choose anybody on the planet to join your team to fight the Russians, who would you pick and who would you leave for Vladimir Putin to pick up to use against you?

With the NFL Draft underway, the Daily Star decided to apply the sport's selection process to two world leaders – Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin.

Using the wisdom of Elon Musk's AI model Grok, we did just that but used global figures instead of American football players. Grok broke it down the rules and setup for the hypothetical draft before choosing a pretty obvious contender for the Orange Manbaby's first choice.

Trump and Mad Vlad have anyone and everyone on the planet to pick from and the results for both seem to follow their personalities. The American typically went for people with similarly large personalities to him while Putin was much more calculated and strategic.

Here is the AI's analysis:

Rules

Imagining Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin in an NFL-style draft for notable figures is a wild thought experiment. They’d likely approach it with their distinct personalities and priorities – Trump with his flair for spectacle and branding, Putin with his strategic, calculated mindset.

Let’s break it down as a hypothetical draft, assuming they’re picking for a “team” to boost their influence, power, or legacy. Each gets 5 picks, alternating, with a focus on living notable figures (as of April 25, 2025).

I’ll base their choices on their known preferences, public personas, and strategic goals, keeping it light but grounded in their styles.

Draft Setup

• Teams: Team Trump (focused on media presence, loyalty, and deal-making) vs. Team Putin (focused on control, geopolitics, and loyalty).
• Pool: Living notable figures (politicians, business leaders, celebrities, etc.).
• Rules: No fictional characters, no deceased figures. They pick for influence, not athletic ability. Alternating picks, Trump goes first (he’d insist on it).
• Venue: A glitzy Las Vegas-style arena (Trump’s choice) with a Kremlin-esque backdrop (Putin’s compromise).

Round 1

Trump’s Pick: Elon Musk

Trump kicks it off with a splash, grabbing Musk for his wealth, tech dominance, and X platform influence. Trump values Musk’s ability to stir the pot and his “America First” vibes on tech and free speech. Musk’s star power and meme-lord status align with Trump’s brand.

Trump’s reasoning: “Elon’s a winner, folks. Tremendous brain, loves me, loves America. He’s my quarterback for the future!”

Putin’s Pick: Xi Jinping

Putin counters with a heavyweight, picking China’s leader for geopolitical clout. Xi’s authoritarian control and economic leverage make him a strategic ally to counter Western influence. Putin sees Xi as a partner in reshaping global power dynamics.

Putin’s reasoning: “Xi is a man of strength. Together, we ensure the world respects our vision.”

Round 2

Trump’s Pick: Kanye West

Trump doubles down on pop culture, picking Ye for his massive following and unpredictable energy. Kanye’s outspoken nature and past Trump support make him a flashy choice to keep the media buzzing. Trump loves the chaos Kanye brings.

Trump’s reasoning: “Kanye’s a genius, folks. Huge star, speaks his mind. He’ll keep the haters guessing!”

Putin’s Pick: Narendra Modi

Putin goes for India’s PM, a leader with a strong nationalist base and a key player in the Global South. Modi’s balancing act between East and West makes him a versatile pick for Putin’s multipolar world strategy.

Putin’s reasoning: “Modi commands a billion people with discipline. He understands power.”

Round 3

Trump’s Pick: Joe Rogan

Trump grabs Rogan for his podcast empire and appeal to the “everyman.” Rogan’s platform gives Trump a direct line to millions of listeners, and his anti-establishment streak fits Trump’s narrative.

Trump’s reasoning: “Joe’s got the biggest microphone, loves free speech, loves me. He’s yuge!”

Putin’s Pick: Recep Tayyip Erdoğan

Putin selects Turkey’s leader for his regional influence and ability to play both NATO and Russia. Erdoğan’s strongman style and control over a key geopolitical choke point (Bosporus) make him a tactical pick.

Putin’s reasoning: “Erdoğan is a cunning ally. He secures our interests in the West and East.”

Round 4

Trump’s Pick: Tucker Carlson

Trump picks the former Fox host for his loyal audience and ability to shape narratives. Carlson’s anti-elite rhetoric and pro-Trump stance make him a propaganda powerhouse for Team Trump.

Trump’s reasoning: “Tucker’s the best, folks. He tells it like it is, loves MAGA. Ratings machine!”

Putin’s Pick: Sergey Lavrov

Putin stays loyal, picking his longtime foreign minister. Lavrov’s diplomatic savvy and ability to spin Russia’s narrative globally make him a behind-the-scenes enforcer for Putin’s team.

Putin’s reasoning: “Lavrov is my voice to the world. He never falters.”

Round 5

Trump’s Pick: Dana White

Trump closes with the UFC president, a personal friend and symbol of toughness. White’s business acumen and populist appeal (fight fans) give Trump a gritty, crowd-pleasing pick.

Trump’s reasoning: “Dana’s a fighter, builds empires, loves me. He’s gonna knock out the competition!”

Putin’s Pick: Alexander Lukashenko

Putin rounds out his team with Belarus’s leader, a loyal vassal who ensures Russia’s western flank. Lukashenko’s ruthless control and alignment with Moscow make him a safe, if unflashy, choice.

Putin’s reasoning: “Lukashenko is family. He stands firm for our cause.”

Final Rosters

Team Trump:

• Elon Musk (tech/media mogul)
• Kanye West (pop culture icon)
• Joe Rogan (media influencer)
• Tucker Carlson (propaganda chief)
• Dana White (business/fight game boss) Vibe: A loud, chaotic squad built for headlines, viral moments, and rallying the base. Heavy on media and spectacle, light on geopolitics.

Team Putin:

• Xi Jinping (global superpower leader)
• Narendra Modi (regional heavyweight)
• Recep Tayyip Erdoğan (geopolitical wildcard)
• Sergey Lavrov (diplomatic enforcer)
• Alexander Lukashenko (loyal ally) Vibe: A disciplined, strategic team focused on global influence and control. All business, no flash.

Winner and Loser

• Trump’s Team excels in dominating attention and cultural narratives. They’d own X, podcasts, and TV screens, rallying a populist wave. But their lack of cohesion and geopolitical depth could leave them vulnerable to strategic outmaneuvering.
• Putin’s Team is a geopolitical juggernaut, with leaders controlling massive populations and key regions. They’d outplay Trump in diplomacy and power moves but lack the cultural pull to win hearts and minds globally.

Grok's verdict: "If the goal is global influence, Putin’s team has the edge for its strategic depth and alliances. If it’s about dominating the cultural conversation, Trump’s squad takes it for sheer noise. In a hybrid “game,” Putin likely outlasts Trump’s flash with calculated moves, but Trump’s team would make it a hell of a show."

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