In Honor Of New USC Commit Boobie Feaster, Let's Revisit Football's All-Name Team
These are our top-five favorite names of people who happen to be football players.
In the event that you aren't a diehard "recruitnik" such as myself, you may have missed four-star wide receiver Boobie Feaster committing to the USC Trojans during the Fourth of July festivities.
Man, it's times like these that make me really wish Jay Leno was still doing his thing on late-night TV.
"Have you seen this one, folks? It looks like high school wide receiver Boobie Feaster will be heading to USC next year to play football for the Trojans. That's right, folks, Boobie Feaster. Or what I called my son the first six months of his life! You like that one, Kevin?"
All jokes aside, Boobie Feaster is an unreal name for a football player, so much so that I decided to revisit some of the best names we have seen in the sport.
Let's take a fun detour through the all-name team, as I share some of my personal favorites.
DeColdest Crawford
One of the best names in the recruiting landscape in recent memory, DeColdest Crawford was garnering headlines in high school for his name as much as he was for his performance on the field.
What makes his name even more legendary is the fact that his full name is DeColdest ToEvaDoIt Crawford.
I seriously couldn't make this up if I tried.
Sadly, Crawford's football career didn't quite live up to his namesake, as the Shreveport native is currently sitting in the transfer portal after leaving both Nebraska and Louisiana Tech in his few years of service.
However, he was smart enough to parlay his moniker into an HVAC advertising deal while in Lincoln, so that's pretty cool (pun partially intended).
Storm Duck
Storm Duck is a great name, on that I believe we can all agree.
But what makes his name work is the fact that he doesn't play quarterback.
A hard-hitting defensive back named Storm Duck works incredibly well.
A quarterback with the last name "Duck" just doesn't hit the same way.
The first time that kid threw a lollipop interception to a safety in zone coverage, the jokes would set X ablaze.
Luckily, we get to see Storm Duck forcing interceptions rather than throwing them, and for that we should all be thankful.
Captain Munnerlyn
Whenever you have a football player with a military ranking as a first name, you are cooking with gas.
I couldn't find out if Munnerlyn was ever actually a captain on an NFL team, but regardless, he was able to carve out a nice career for himself as a pro.
His first name is so cool it even distracts you from the fact that his last name is Munnerlyn, only adding to the mystique of his moniker.
Captain Munnerlyn works so much better than Captain Smith.
Major Wright
From captain to major. Major Wright, that is!
His name works on a couple of different levels.
There are the aforementioned military ties, but also the homophone of him being a "major right," or a good person.
Fun with words!
I'll be honest though, I really just wanted an excuse to post that absolutely vicious hit from the 2008-09 National Championship game.
That might have been the moment my life peaked as a sports fan.
Kool-Aid McKinstry
Another example of a young man with a brilliant marketing mind, Kool-Aid McKinstry was able to take advantage of the early NIL landscape and turn that into a profitable career off the field.
I am not sure how one gets the nickname of Kool-Aid bestowed upon them, other than maybe sucking down pouches of the stuff at summer camp, but I digress.
McKinstry is now in the NFL, but I am sure he's still enjoying the fruits of his namesake through a lucrative deal with the sugary drink brand.
Three cheers for capitalism!
Did I miss any? You can let me know at austin.perry@outkick.com.