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Melania Trump Wants to End Online Bullying. Her Husband Doesn’t Help.

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Melania Trump, the first lady, and President Trump last month.Credit...Tom Brenner/The New York Times

With a particular focus on social media, Melania Trump, the first lady, has long said she wants to curb online bullying and harassment as part of a nascent effort to improve the lives of American children. There’s one problem: Mrs. Trump’s efforts often clash with the president’s longtime habit of using social media to insult people.

Despite the criticism, she has continued to develop an agenda around cybersafety. On Tuesday, Mrs. Trump invited representatives from Facebook, Snap, Google, Amazon and Twitter to the White House for a round-table discussion on the topic. In a speech, she said that she had received letters from children who have been bullied or feel threatened on social media.

“I am well aware that people are skeptical of me discussing this topic,” Mrs. Trump said on Tuesday. “I have been criticized for my commitment to tackling this issue, and I know that will continue. But it will not stop me from doing what I know is right. I am here with one goal: helping children and our next generation.”

So far, Mrs. Trump is working on this initiative independently of her husband. On Tuesday, President Trump had already attacked Democrats. Here are other times his behavior on Twitter has clashed with her public remarks on the importance of curbing bullying.

Days after visiting survivors of a mass school shooting in Parkland, Fla., Mrs. Trump addressed a group of governors’ spouses at the White House. She offered support for students who were protesting against current gun laws, and brought up social media exposure as one of the “evils in our world today.” Mrs. Trump said adults should take responsibility for monitoring children’s behavior on social media.

“Before you leave to go back to your wonderful states and territories, I’m asking you all to join me today and commit to promoting values such as encouragement, kindness, compassion and respect in our children,” Mrs. Trump said to the group. “With those values as a solid foundation, our kids will be better equipped to deal with many of the evils in our world today, such as drug abuse and addiction and negative social media interactions.”

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The president and Mrs. Trump traveled to Florida to visit survivors of the mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School.Credit...Shealah Craighead/The White House

That week, Mr. Trump singled out Jeff Sessions, his attorney general, the investigation led by the special counsel and the state of California.

Mrs. Trump, in another public indication that she may refocus on efforts related to an early promise to combat cyberbullying, visited a middle school in a Detroit suburb. In between posing for selfies, she urged students to treat one another with respect and kindness.

“I encourage you to find a new friend and eat lunch with a new friend,” Mrs. Trump told a group of seventh- and eighth-grade students who had gathered in the cafeteria with their lunchboxes, backpacks and smartphones. “I think it’s very important to choose kindness and compassion.”

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Mrs. Trump during a visit to Orchard Lake Middle School last October.Credit...David Guralnick/Detroit News, via Associated Press

That day, Mr. Trump attacked the National Football League in a continuing battle over players kneeling during the national anthem to protest police brutality, racism and the current state of the criminal justice system.

He also singled out the widow of a soldier killed in an ambush in Niger. Myeshia Johnson, whose husband, Sgt. La David T. Johnson, was killed, said the president had struggled to remember her husband’s name during a phone call.

“The president said, ‘He knew what he signed up for, but it hurts anyway,’” Ms. Johnson said during an interview with ABC News’s George Stephanopoulos. “It made me cry because I was very angry at the tone in his voice and how he said it.”

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Myeshia Johnson at a burial for her husband, Sgt. La David T. Johnson.Credit...Mike Stocker/South Florida Sun-Sentinel, via Associated Press

Mr. Trump used his preferred platform to hit back.

In a speech at a United Nations luncheon, Mrs. Trump warned about the dangers to children posed by cyberbullying and drugs.

“We must turn our focus right now to the message and content they are exposed to on a daily basis through social media,” Mrs. Trump said to a luncheon group. “The bullying, the experience online and in person and the growing global epidemic of drug addiction and drug overdose.”

That week, Mr. Trump criticized several targets, including the leader of North Korea, the Emmys and Senator Rand Paul, Republican of Kentucky.

During the president’s first trip abroad, Mrs. Trump met with Queen Mathilde of Belgium and watched a presentation about a program that advocates for missing and exploited children. Mrs. Trump emphasized the need for digital safety after the meeting.

“It is so important that we talk to children about their online activities, to let them know that computers are useful tools but can be used by people who want to harm them,” Mrs. Trump said in a statement released through the White House.

That week, the president was on his best Twitter behavior. He praised European leaders, called his meeting with Pope Francis “the honor of a lifetime” and discussed his poll numbers.

For the first time, Mrs. Trump said publicly that she wanted to help combat cyberbullying during a campaign stop in Pennsylvania.

“We have to find a better way to talk to each other, to disagree with each other, to respect each other. We must find better ways to honor and support the basic goodness of our children, especially in social media,” Mrs. Trump said. “It will be one of the main focuses of my work if I’m privileged enough to become your first lady.”

Needless to say, her critics pounced. For his part, Mr. Trump spent the week railing against his Democratic opponent, Hillary Clinton, and President Barack Obama.

On Tuesday, Carlos Monje, a representative from Twitter, the president’s preferred digital soapbox, said the platform worked hard to “create a safe environment” for people 13 and older.

“Young people do come to Twitter to find community,” he said. Adding, “We’ve seen some pretty inspirational things.”

Over a year in the Trump presidency, the East Wing has not unveiled a formal policy initiative. On Tuesday, the East Wing did not give a timeline for a formal rollout. Stephanie Grisham, a spokeswoman for the first lady, said in an email that it was common for the East Wing to work independently of the West Wing on “some issues.”

“It is, in fact, a huge part of life for children today and Mrs. Trump wants to use her platform to talk openly about how to use it in a positive way,” Ms. Grisham said. “Of course she knows there is going to be criticism, but she is an independent woman who is doing what she feels is right for children. This should be celebrated, not criticized.”

Kitty Bennett contributed research.

A correction was made on 
March 20, 2018

An earlier version of this article misstated the date that Melania Trump addressed a luncheon at the United Nations. It was Sept. 20, 2017, not Sept. 21, 2017.

How we handle corrections

Katie Rogers is a White House correspondent in the Washington Bureau, covering the cultural impact of the Trump administration on the nation's capital and beyond. More about Katie Rogers

A version of this article appears in print on  , Section A, Page 13 of the New York edition with the headline: First Lady Is Fighting Online Bullies; Her Husband Is a Repeat Offender. Order Reprints | Today’s Paper | Subscribe

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